I do want to add to my family. I want 4 children and don't believe I will feel complete until they are all here. When number 3 arrives is what I'm not sure about.
That brings us to one on one time. Yesterday for the first time in a long time I was able to spend quality one on one time with Noah. Ben was home from work so he had Lili while I took Noah to a free movie screening at our local leagues club. It was great, he had a ball, I was able to really talk with him and play while we waited for it to start then during the movie he sat next to me talking oh so seriously about the events unfolding (we watched Open Season 2). Then he sat up on my lap and reclined back with his feet up and we had a really nice relaxing time.
I realised just how much easier having one child to look after is. Being able to really focus on them and give them the attention they crave is food for the soul... for both of you. It also made me realise just how much I miss Noah. He was my whole world for 18 months and for the past 9 months he has been just part of my world.
We will be spending more one on one time together in the future, I am going to make sure of it. Lili and I have one on one time together at least once a fortnight when we go to a trvia night and I have always enjoyed being able to give her all of me for that time. I just didn't realise how much Noah and I needed it too.
Now I am left wondering how I could possibly balance three. I am sure I will manage, we always do but for now I am happy giving as much of me as possible to Noah and Lili and number three and four will come in time.
Besides, I will have my baby fix soon enough with my sister's third arriving hopefully by the end of the month! "
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